Do I Have Bain Dramage?

I've noticed when I'm writing, I often screw things up, most notably omitting minor words like articles and prepositions. I'm sure you've noticed on the blog. It's aggravating, and spellcheck will not address it. If anyone knows a name for such errors, I'd like to know about it.

Typically, here's what I think happens. I'm a pretty decent typist, about 60 words per minute; I'm not a hunt-and-pecker. As I write, I compose the words in my brain, then they go into a "buffer" in my brain, and a second later I'm typing the words. That means at the time I'm typing, I'm already thinking of several words down the road. I think that's why I forget the "minor" words like articles and prepositions and why I preserve significant nouns and verbs.

What's really aggravating, is that upon rereading my writing, my mind often "fills in the blanks." The sentences make sense to me, so I miss the "minor" errors.

Anyway, I hope you're able to fill in the blanks and know that I'm not as inarticulate as I may seem.

Boxing Day = Lumps of coal

In Canada, the day after Christmas is Boxing Day. I've got no idea what that means to Canadians, but for me, it means an opportunity to dole out lumps of coal via my blog.

So who gets the coal? You'll recall some time ago, I posted a request that you post a comment to the blog, even if you just said "hi." Those of you who haven't honored my request know who you are and, now, so will everyone else. Please take this in the spirit it is intended--ABSOLUTE RAGE!

A lump of coal to:

Michelle Gremillion--Michelle works in a public library; clearly she has no opportunity to comment on my blog.
Michael Merino
Alison Neustrom
Vanessa Murphree--Vanessa is a professor of communications, so blogs may be beneath her.
Dr. Matt--After Katrina, I dabbled with a cellphone, upon which Matt chided, "Welcome to modernity." Modernity? Have you ever tried to get an email from this guy? If you want to contact him over the web, you'd better be in an on-line poker room.
Denice Bizot
Todd Michney--He should split his lump with Laura. I assumed significant others would tell the other about the blog.

Half a lump to:

Anna Maria--Anna Maria did email me about the blog which was nice, though she could have just as well posted her comments on the blog.
Bruce Owen--Same thing as Anna Maria.

A free pass to:

Angelle--Angelle also emailed me about the blog but explained she couldn't post, because her work computer prevented her.

I'd like to thank Bart for suggesting calling out these people. (And, OK, I'm not really filled with rage. Well, maybe a little, but not about commenting on this blog.)

Bah fuckin' Humbug!

Well, my main Christmas tradition, the watching of "Bad Santa," has been thwarted. I thought my DVD of it had made the trip up to Canada, but last night when I looked for it, I couldn't find it. What's really frustrating is a few days ago I was in the public library, saw their DVD copy of "Bad Santa" on the shelf, thought about checking it out just in case, but didn't because I didn't want something else to keep track of. Then, on the 23rd, "Bad Santa" was on TV. But I didn't tape it or anything. I believed I already had a copy. The universe was trying to tell me I didn't, but I didn't listen.

Why do I like "Bad Santa?" Simply because the main character strips away any illusions about this holiday, and lays bare the real significance of this holiday's primary character. (Sorry, Jesus.) Harry Shearer's latest episode of "Le Show" was pretty funny and cynical. It did some of "Bad Santa"'s heavy lifting for me this year. You can download it here.

Here's my favorite line from "Bad Santa." When a kid tells bad Santa his Christmas wish, he retorts, "Well wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which one fills up first." I guess this is my way of saying I'm not feeling the Christmas spirit this year. Sorry. But for me, the thought that our society has a season in which a common refrain is "Peace on Earth, and good will towards men" does not sit well with me. I mean I find it disgusting. "Peace on Earth?" That's a punchline, really. I mean, there's no way to deliver that with a straight face. What's really irritating is the "good will towards men" part. I think that's because juxtaposed with peace on Earth, good will towards men seems so simple, such a relatively small request, and it's just as scarce as peace on Earth. So it's perversely appropriate that the culminating event in our society's season of "peace on Earth" is an orgy of consumerism. Want peace on Earth? Well, wish in one hand, shit in the other, and tell me which one fills up first.

Last night, Nicole made Christmas dinner. As we sat down to it, I played "O Holy Night" as performed by Trombone Shorty. As those sharp brass notes fell in my ears, I couldn't help it and started tearing up. As 2007 concludes, it's impossible to feel good about it. It's a year in which difficult situations have suffered serious setbacks, not just for me but my city as well, not just for my city but my country, not just for my country but the planet.

This holiday season I hope you are able to spend time with those you love and that such love gives us the courage to make this world a better place.

A Sighting

When I've seen meteors, they look like what they're called, shooting stars, a white pin point of light streaking across the sky. Recently though, I saw something else.

For the first month I was here, Nicole and I were staying in an apartment in a residential area a couple of miles outside of downtown. At night, it was really dark outside; there were no streetlights or porchlights nearby. The darkness offered a nice view of the stars, and I'd stare up at them when out there, typically when going from the car to the apartment.

One night, I was looking up at the stars when a meteor streaked into view. But it was no pin point. It was thick, about as thick as my fist. I could see the orange flame as it burned and the trail of smoke it left in the sky. It seemed to move slower than other meteors I've seen, and it seemed no higher than three stories in the air. Within a couple of seconds, it was out of view.

It seemed like a meteor completing its descent to Earth. I listened for a crash but didn't hear one. Maybe someone ended up with a piece of space rock, maybe it burned up. But it was fascinating to see.

I'm No Star Fucker

I've realized I've had a number of encounters with celebrities over the years. I've never sought that out. I attribute it to having lived in an interesting part of New Orleans, to being plugged into its interesting culture. So recently, I made a list of these encounters, and here it is.

I've italicized the names of people I had contact with, be it a hand shake, a conversation, or whatever, though if they're on this list, it typically means I had every opportunity to walk up and talk to them if I'd wanted to. Also, I've divided the list into two groups: those I just ran in to and those I saw in a performance venue. If they're listed under a performance venue, it means the venue was particularly intimate, often afterward they were just standing around approachable by anyone. So I don't include Bill Clinton and Johnny Cash on my list; there was nothing intimate about the venue in which I saw them live.

"Ran in to":
John Boutte'
Ed Bradley
Drew Brees
John Breaux
P.J. Brown
Henry Butler
Andrei Codrescu
Anderson Cooper
Edwin Edwards
Bob French
John Goodman
Darrell Hammond
Mark Harris
INXS
Jesse Jackson
Bill Jefferson
Leroy Jones
Maynard James Keenan
Mary Landrieu
Eli Manning
Ellis Marsalis
Irvin Mayfield
Matthew McConaughey
Helen Mirren
Rick Moody
Jim Mora
Ray Nagin
Cyril Neville
Shaquille O'Neal
Nicholas Payton
Sean Peyton
Sean Penn
Sydney Pollack
Giovanni Ribisi
Andy Rooney
Kermit Ruffins
Nick Saban
Harry Shearer
Pauly Shore
Britney Spears
Jim Taylor
Ricky Williams

Intimate venue:
Boston (the band)
Ray Bradbury
Stephen Colbert
Harry Connick Jr.
Ira Glass
Al Gore
Tipper Gore
Amy Goodman
Amy Grant
Branford Marsalis
Wynton Marsalis
Colin Quinn
Chris Rock
Sarah Vowell

One thought that comes to mind is: is this a long list? It seems like it for someone not involved in the entertainment business. But maybe it just seems that way. So how about it? How does your list compare?

There's a lot of people on this list I admire; the one admire most would be Al Gore.

After the blizzard

This weekend we had a serious snow storm. Nicole and I stayed indoors for much of it. The next morning I got up and walked to the Green Bean, my favorite coffeehouse here. Here's what I saw:

This is right outside our apartment building.







As I crossed the bridge over the creek, I took this picture. You can see the creek opening into Lake Ontario, with geese resting on its frozen surface.






Here's the footing on the bridge, so I'm usually not far from the hand rail. I've also learned it's better to walk on soft snow, which this is, than hard ice.







A place in downtown to cool your heels and your shins and your entire backside.






After a few blocks I arrived at my oasis of warmth.

A few days later when I walked to the Green Bean I bundled up as usual only to find myself sweating by the time I arrived. Without realizing it, the temperature had risen above freezing. Funny, when I see snow, I assume it's freezing. But the snow is melting, albeit very slowly.

Now that the temperature has risen, I'm forced to conclude that the worst is behind us and that essentially winter is over. I should be wearing short sleeves and shorts in a few weeks, not so different from New Orleans. That wasn't so bad.

Me on Stephanie Miller

Back when New Orleans had an Air America affiliate, I got hooked on the Stephanie Miller show. After the affiliate's parent company switched them to rebroadcast WWL's content, I still listened to her show over the web.

At first, I found the show too busy--lots of drops and sound effects. But her ribald sense of humor grew on me; she's not shy about joking about sex or her age. So in keeping with that spirit, I sent her an email after the fire, and she read it on the air. You can hear it here:




A few comments about the clip. I was pleased that I got some laughs out of the people on the show. I'm not 44; I just elevated my age for comedic effect. Also, I never said that her podcast got me through all those difficulties. I said her podcast got me through sifting through the rubble of my burned-out house, which it did. She edited my email for brevity's sake. I guess brevity is the soul of wit.

Also, I added the pictures of my cats just to convert the track to a video format. This blog won't allow me to upload audio tracks. I could have added pictures of the house, but I thought that would bring things down.